Tuesday, June 9, 2009
I’m a neurotic mess . . .
For every good thing, or every “accomplishment” I seem to anticipate something negative. I started using a new face wash, and it’s wonderful! My face has cleared to the point that I no longer feel the need to wear foundation. Yet, I’ve begun to wonder what I’m going to do when (not if, but when) it stops working. It’s only been about 3 weeks since I started using it, and I’m already concerning myself with needing to find a new product :-/. This strange way of thinking that I have has been known to cause me problems with weight loss in the past, and it’s starting to cause me some problems this time around. I’m consistently losing weight so far, and I feel great about it! I’m actually starting to believe that this time will be different, and I will meet my goal at some point. Yet, I don’t see that as completely positive :(. Instead of being excited by the idea of being thin, I’m worried that if I do get there I’ll end up with a “lollipop head” and a flat chest! Oy, I’m such a pessimist! I really need to learn to retrain my brain and stop looking for the negatives, or potential negatives in every situation. The problem for me where weight is concerned is that being thin is unknown territory. I don’t do well with unfamiliar situations. I like to know what I’m getting myself into, so that I can prepare myself. I’ve never been thin, so I don’t know what I will look like. I honestly feel like I have no way of knowing if my concerns are completely off the wall (as logically I hope/imagine they are), or if they are actually valid and something I should be worrying about :-/! Wow, this sounds incredibly vain :(. Sometimes I wonder if it would just be easier to keep the “ugly” I know, than to give it up for an unfamiliar which could wind up being equally as ugly, just in a different way :-/
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Sounds like you ARE a bit of a worrier... but that can be somewhat normal. I sometimes worry I will lose some of my girls when I lose weight, but to me that is worth it to lose the weight and be thinner. You may lose some of your chest, it's definitely not a far out idea. If you aren't ok with that, then maybe you do want to reconsider losing weight..although if you should always looks the same proportion as you are now, so I wouldn't worry ;)
ReplyDeleteI’m really not that vain, I swear :/. I’m honestly more concerned with my healthy than I am with the size of my chest, it’s just one of those small unimportant things that crosses my mind from time to time ~ I have a bit of a fear of the unknown :)
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